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Go “Stover” After Narcissistic Abuse

by | August 27, 2016

Stover isn’t just no contact, no response for a certain amount of time to clear your head, and heal your heart. Stover is a frame of mind. It’s your new mantra. Stover is rejecting anyone who doesn’t appreciate you. Stover is closing the door forever, and putting a padlock on it. Stover is accepting the relationship is finished, and there’s no turning back, no matter what. Stover is ensuring there is zero possibility of any reconciliation, or potential for a future friendship. Stover is letting go of the need for vindication, or hope of an apology. Stover is accepting that the outcome was inevitable. Stover is building an impenetrable fort of protection. Stover is erecting a boundary that is indestructible. Stover is reacting proactively to guard against relationship amnesia. Stover is feeling confident about permanently ejecting toxicity from your life. Stover is crossing the bridge, then throwing a grenade over your shoulder, and blasting the bridge to bits. Stover is diffusing the narcissist’s vortex from ever regenerating. Stover is taking back your power. Stover is the sum of many small actions that equal complete, and total self-love. Stover is the loudest silent message that the relationship is not just over, it’s STOVER (So Totally Over!).  Click on the link to read more about How To Permanently Detach From A Narcissist.

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Bree Bonchay, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist with over 18 years of experience working in the field of mental health and trauma recovery. She specializes in helping people recover from toxic relationships. Her articles have been featured in major online magazines and she has appeared on radio as a guest expert.
She is a dedicated advocate, educator and facilitates survivor support groups and workshops.

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Stover isn’t just no contact, no response for a certain amount of time to clear your head, and heal your heart. Stover is a frame of mind. It’s your new mantra. Stover is rejecting anyone who doesn’t appreciate you. Stover is closing the door forever, and putting a padlock on it. Stover is accepting the relationship is finished, and there’s no turning back, no matter what. Stover is ensuring there is zero possibility of any reconciliation, or potential for a future friendship. Stover is letting go of the need for vindication, or hope of an apology. Stover is accepting that the outcome was inevitable. Stover is building an impenetrable fort of protection. Stover is erecting a boundary that is indestructible. Stover is reacting proactively to guard against relationship amnesia. Stover is feeling confident about permanently ejecting toxicity from your life. Stover is crossing the bridge, then throwing a grenade over your shoulder, and blasting the bridge to bits. Stover is diffusing the narcissist’s vortex from ever regenerating. Stover is taking back your power. Stover is the sum of many small actions that equal complete, and total self-love. Stover is the loudest silent message that the relationship is not just over, it’s STOVER (So Totally Over!).  Click on the link to read more about How To Permanently Detach From A Narcissist.

Suffering from Narcissistic Abuse?

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Don’t waste your time and emotional energy trying to convince mutual friends of the truth or to side with you. The narcissist has already anticipated what you might say and has been preemptively planting a very credible- sounding rendition of the truth in the mind’s of mutual friends and anyone else who would listen. The narcissist, most likely, has been doing this for a very long time and that’s why reversing the damage and trying to change people’s minds is absolutely futile. Follow me on IG @breebonchay and join my over 65k followers on Facebook at www.Facebook.com/freefromtoxic#narcissist #narcissisticabuse #smearcampaign #flyingmonkeys #wnaad #freefromtoxic #ifmywoundswerevisible ... See MoreSee Less
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One day you’re treated like a king/queen, and the next day you’re finding yourself constantly having to explain:- how it’s just common courtesy to call someone if you’re going to be late-how it’s just common courtesy to ask before you borrow something -how it’s just common courtesy to apologize when you’ve done something wrong-how it’s just common courtesy to treat your loved one with respect -how it’s just common courtesy to not flirt with or eye someone else when you’re in a relationship And, so on and so on…What principles of common courtesy or human decency have you had to constantly explain to a narcissist you know? ▶️ Follow me on IG @breebonchay ...#narcissisticabuse #narcissist #entitled #narcawareness #wnaad #ifmywoundswerevisible #gaslighting #survivor #narcissistabuserecovery ... See MoreSee Less
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If they know the narcissist was abusive to you but they stay friends with the narcissist, they are not your people. Integrity is everything. Prune your circle and move on. Only surround yourself with people who are a 💯 percent team YOU!Follow me on IG @breebonchay #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcawareness #wnaad #ifmywoundswerevisible #flyingmonkeys #enablers #pruneyourcircle ... See MoreSee Less
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Narcissists will make you feel like you are asking for too much. Narcissists don’t like to give their time, energy, resources (unless they’re benefitting some how) so they will make you feel faulty, clingy, or selfish for having needs in the relationship. If you are consistently made to feel your wants and desires are unreasonable, decrease your investment in the relationship. It’s not serving you. Follow me on IG @breebonchay#narcissist #narcissisticabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness ... See MoreSee Less
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Get the book

‘I Am Free” is both a cautionary warning and illuminating light. It empowers readers dealing with the aftermath of a toxic relationship and serves as a wake-up call to those who are in-or think they may be in- an abusive relationship with a narcissists or sociopath.

Get the book

‘I Am Free” is both a cautionary warning and illuminating light. It empowers readers dealing with the aftermath of a toxic relationship and serves as a wake-up call to those who are in-or think they may be in- an abusive relationship with a narcissists or sociopath.

About me

Bree Bonchay, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist with two decades of experience working in the field of mental health and trauma recovery. She specializes in helping people recover from toxic relationships and shares her insights about narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy in her blog, FreeFromToxic. She is the author of the book, “I Am Free” and has appeared on radio as a guest expert. She is also a board member of the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Educators & Survivor Treatment, a member of the International Association of Trauma Specialists, and is also the founder of WNAAD.

About me

Bree Bonchay, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist with two decades of experience working in the field of mental health and trauma recovery. She specializes in helping people recover from toxic relationships and shares her insights about narcissistic personality disorder and psychopathy in her blog, FreeFromToxic. She is the author of the book, “I Am Free” and has appeared on radio as a guest expert. She is also a board member of the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Educators & Survivor Treatment, a member of the International Association of Trauma Specialists, and is also the founder of WNAAD.

5 Comments

  1. Beverly

    I get the whole no contact thing but when there are financial issues to be resolved how do you do that?

    Reply
  2. Angie

    Thank you, Bree. Your insights are wonderful & help me realize that by ‘letting go’ of toxic people, i open myself up to newness which is more healthy & helpful for my personal growth!

    Reply
  3. Wanda S. Henry

    How do you handle a situation where you have to be around the narcissist because you share grown children and grandchildren who have family birthday parties, etc. and you have to be around the narcissist or miss the family event? I try to carry on as if he is not there, to be civil if we pass each other, but there is so much pain for me. Three of the four children were his from a previous marriage, and they look on me as the only mother figure they have had. The narcissist would like to push me out of the picture because that is what he did to his first wife (their mother). We have been divorced three years now after a 30-year marriage, but I am still grieving the loss of the family unit. I am trying to get past that grief and also to not be jealous when he has the children and their families at get-togethers at his family-owned properties where I am not welcome/included/invited, etc. I am trying to become a person again after the years of putdowns and the final blow of his leaving me for a younger woman, but the children (though they are very supportive of me) have a certain loyalty to him and want to think that he is such a neat, fun guy. Besides being at a disadvantage financially, I do not want the relationship with the kids/grandkids to be a competition for affection. Any tips on dealing with the situation and the pain involved would be appreciated.

    Reply
  4. Tamara Yancosky Moore

    Excellent

    Reply
  5. A.B

    Just got out of a narcissist friendship for good. Ironically my last name is stover and coming across this felt like a sign from the universe. Lol

    Reply

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Copyright © 2021 - Bree Bonchay/ Free From Toxic ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No material on this website may be reproduced in any format without prior written permission of Bree Bonchay.